A mostly serious guide
to writing good and stuff
Inspired by Weird Al Yankovic
and the song “Word Crimes”
Let Weird Al check your grammar
Grammar exists to improve communication, not to help strangers feel superior online.
The AP Stylebook tells you how to write for newspapers. The Weird Al Stylebook tells you how to avoid being mocked in a four-minute pop parody.
This guide follows the spirit of “Word Crimes”: a mix of legitimate grammar advice, exaggerated pedantry, and theatrical disappointment in humanity.
It’s means it is. Its is possessive. If you misuse apostrophes, the internet will judge you silently and forever.
Use fewer for things you can count and less for things you cannot. No grocery store sign has ever obeyed this rule.
Your indicates possession. You’re means you are. If replacing the word with “you are” sounds ridiculous, use your.
Use literally when something actually happened in physical reality. If you literally died laughing, please stop emailing.
Use the Oxford comma whenever clarity matters. Without it, your parents might accidentally become Weird Al and coffee.
Typing in all caps makes your sentence sound like it was written during a kitchen fire. Use sparingly.
Subject lines should explain reality, contain verbs, and avoid mystery. A subject line of “Hey” is not useful to anyone.
Good writing should be clear, concise, human, and readable. Proofread your emails. Use apostrophes responsibly. And never write “for all intensive purposes.”
| Level | Description |
|---|---|
| 1 | Minor typo |
| 2 | Misused apostrophe |
| 3 | “Your an idiot” |
| 4 | Comic Sans resume |
| 5 | Reply-all catastrophe |
| 6 | Inspirational quote in Papyrus |
| 7 | “Should of” in a professional email |
| 8 | Entire LinkedIn post in ALL CAPS |
| 9 | Live tweeting a funeral |
| 10 | “Could care less” tattoo |
Inspired by the AP Stylebook and the educational chaos of Weird Al Yankovic’s “Word Crimes.” Try the grammar checker.